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Re: Once Upon a Time
I agree. It is clever, but you need a rhyme scheme. Maybe you should go back and edit it a little. If you need any help just PM me. ~jumper
Nov 23, 2008 -
Re: Frozen, unfrozen, and freezing again
Wow. Very nice. A few misspellings, but it's so long I won't be able to find them again unfortunately. Your friend is a talented writer, should definitely get a user ...
Nov 23, 2008 -
Re: He Comes Before Night : Chapter One (edited
It was good, but Mackenzie's love for Dorine just...happened. It was abrupt, so sudden. And then Dorine just tells him her life secret and falls for him. It's like the ...
Nov 22, 2008 -
Re: He Comes Before Night
Hi. Okay, then. As said, this was kinda short. I also found it confusing in the middle. I had to stop and re-read a sentence a few times before I ...
Nov 9, 2008 -
Re: The Mask Maker
Hey Jared. Umm...Sorry, but I have no clue what NaNo is...I guess I'm in la-la land or something- Anywho, here's my critique. Grammar - Everything's basically good. I believe it's ...
Oct 18, 2008 -
Re: You have one new message from Joanna
whoa. you have a great story coming along here. KailaMarie got all of the grammar, so there isn't much to say here except: great story, like your writing, and keep ...
Oct 5, 2008 -
Re: What isn't a good critique?
I like how you showed all the bad critiques and then told how to write better ones. I'm referring to this any time I write a review. (Like right now!)
Sep 28, 2008 -
Re: I l-o-v-e y-o-u {EDITED}
{UNDER CONSTRUCTION} ~~~ Ella? “Yes Barry?” Remember the time I first saw you? Ella laughed, “Yes Barry, I do,” And I didn’t know how to talk to you, so I ...
Sep 28, 2008 -
Re: Shadow of the Church - Prologue
Catie hurried her pace as another frightfully cold gust hit her from the North. She looked around her; while trying to find a place to stay for the night, she ...
Sep 27, 2008 -
Re: How do you write a good mystery?
I have always wanted to write a mystery, but never able to think of a good way to write it...how do you get it started, create the crimes, and reveal ...
Sep 1, 2008 -
Re: What do you have difficulty writing?
For me it's just the beginning, and the middle, and the end... :smt100 I can get the idea, but actually putting onto paper and creating the story is hard. Also, ...
Sep 1, 2008 -
Re: What influenced you to write what you are writing right now?
Usually when I think about something, usually a story pops into my head. Well, the basis, actually. So a week or two I tried out for a cross country team. ...
Sep 1, 2008 -
Re: Katrina Story
In the storm Life is chaos Rain is pouring The wind is roaring Down comes the rain Loud and clear Soft and light Screaming, tearing Barely whispering a sound Plastic ...
Aug 31, 2008 -
Re: Does He See?
I thought it was brilliant. But I'm not the greatest author in the universe though. I like the 'Lord oh Lord' phrase, it kept the poem moving along. ***
Aug 31, 2008